Where the bad things can't get you

Why is it that whenever you want to talk to someone the person in question is never available?

Right now, in my case, I want to talk to a certain boy. He is not on msn and he is not on facebook. That leaves the option of the phone but, quite frankly when it comes to phones I don't actually like them very much.

I don't mind sending texts but the money mounts up, also in relation to this particular boy, my phone has a tendency to not recieve his texts which I'm sure you can imagine has led to upset and annoyance on more than one occasion. I don't like phoning people. My friends probably won't believe me, when on the phone it's difficult to get rid of me. However the act of picking up the phone, dialing a number and waiting for the person on the other end to pick up makes me very nervous. What if you phone them at exactly the wrong time? (I had a tendency to do this with one of my friends, I've phoned her several times whilst she was in bed with her boyfriend, of course I didn't know this until she informed me that she was 'busy'.) What if they don't actually want to speak to you? What if they have better people to be with and hang up on you? It's all so complicated. It's a bit stupid really, more often than not I love recieving phone calls so, it should follow that other people also enjoy being called by their friends, shouldn't it? Ach, I don't know.

This post isn't really about getting ahold of people and using telephones. It's actually a way for me to procrastinate. You see, I have exams in about a week and a halfs time, which I have to pass to get into my subjects for next year, and well I haven't started revising yet. I've come to the conclusion I have a fear of revising, now that may sound stupid but when I told my mum about it she said she used to feel the same way. I don't like revising because it only serves to remind me how much I don't know and how little I'll actually remember. I seem to pass exams through blind luck and an ability to write a lot of rubbish, as demonstrated here. However I get the feeling I'm going to need more than that to pass these exams, uni's a little bit different from school. I did a little bit of revision yesterday but, well that wasn't really revision, it was copying notes into a book and well, I don't remember any of what I wrote. I keep telling myself, at least you're only in your first year of university, it doesn't matter if you don't do well in your exams but, it does, it might not matter to other people that much but it matters to me. I don't try very hard when it comes to academic learning, I find it very difficult to apply myself and continue to pay attention but I do like getting good grades. Which is why I wish I was better at making myself do revision and why I often wish I could be like my cat (in the picture above) and curl up under my duvet and hide. Everyone knows if you curl up under your duvet and hide the bad things can't get you. And if the bad things can't get you, that means that revision doesn't exist. Revision is a bad thing...

K