The weather reflects my mood.

It's raining.

I'm in a grump and have been on and off for the past few days. I'm back at home again and since I've been home I've got myself a job, been nagged to get driving lessons again (which I want to do, but don't know when I'll have the time too), been upset and irritated by a boy, helped my Dad build and put up two HUGE garage doors and ridden a few horses. I've also got quite drunk. Once. Work has ruined my social life, the words "Sorry I can't come out, I'm working tomorrow." Have been uttered too many times by me these last few weeks.

Right now I'm in a grump because of a boy. He upset me and I miss him, but I don't think he cares about me anymore. He as good as well told me he wasn't going to speak to me until July. Why July you might ask? Well that's when he comes home too. I would be fine, well fine-er with this, if I didn't keep seeing his face pop up on Facebook when he leaves messages to his friends that are clearly cooler and better than me. I don't want to see his face. He's still upsetting me, why should I have to know that he's having a great time with his new girlfriend and his cool friends and his arty stuff, when I'm at home, bored or working, fed up and feeling crap? Fair? I think not.

Now a solution to this problem of seeing him document his wonderful life right in front of my eyes on facebook would be to block him. But I am a ridiculous sentimental creature, and despite what you might think I really care about other people (well friends mainly), I don't want to block him, I'd feel bad. I could just not go on facebook, but then that would mean I wouldn't be able to waste my life seeing what my other friends are doing(facebook is cheaper than phoning and easier than seeing them in person), and quite frankly because there's not much to do at home, without the internet and facebook, I might die of boredom. I am now stuck in a silly vicious circle in which I am torturing myself over such a silly thing as a boy. Harrumph.

Only he's not just a boy, he was my best friend, and now he's not. It sucks.

On the plus side my mum has decided that she will help me in my quest to learn Swedish by talking to me in Swedish all the time. I also got to ride my favourite pony today and he was fab and shiny.

K xxx

My neighbours beautiful horse Shamal

Big fish

I am now back in the big city, Glasgow has been unusually sunny these past few days. I am of course NOT complaining. I love the sun, I love warm, bright, shiny days and see far too few of them. I feel guilty when I spend a warm, sunny day inside, I always hear my mothers voice saying "Shouldn't you be outside on a day like this?"

Anyway, on Sunday there was a bookfair in the Botanic Gardens in the West End of Glasgow, I had set out with the intention of going to the nearest open bookshop and hunting down a copy of Sophie's World and then going to read it in the Botanic Gardens. However on my way to the shops, walking past the gardens I spied a sign (it was a bit difficult to miss) that ultimately led to my type of heaven. It was a huge sign for a bookfair, in the botanics! DELIGHT my friends DELIGHT, there is nothing I love more than cheap books and lots of them! So, because I didn't want to waste a second of book browsing I almost ran to the nearest cashmachine and then as soon as I could dashed to the book fair, with a little phone call to my friend, I was so happy about this bookfair that I had to tell someone in great detail about it.

I got a little confused as to where the actual bookfair was, so I first went into a huge greenhouse, shaped a little like a palace, it was lovely in there, there is a circular pond with plants and rocks in the middle of it, and in the murky green water swim several fish, some are very pretty and some, quite frankly look like they would happily eat your eyeballs. So I stood staring, transfixed by these fish before I broke out of my reverie and decided that if I was not quick I would MISS the bookfair which would be disastrous! So I then followed the signs, which I had previously ignored, and found my way around to a small building which smelt strongly of stale alcohol and smoke which wasn't exactly pleasant but, BOOKS! There were hundreds of them, in a somewhat organised fashion, I think at the beginning of the day there had been some sort of order to it but it had been messed up by the time I got there.

I spent easily an hour wandering around this small room full of books, desperatly searching for Sophie's World, I never did find it, instead I found four other equally interesting books, A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess, Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Coastliners by Joanne Harris. After I purchased my books, all for a very reasonable price, with a fantastic feeling I strolled back around to the grassy area and found myself a good spot. Once I was settled and had satisfied myself with a bit of peoplewatching I immersed myself in the first book. A Clockwork Orange, after the initial confusion of the strange language that Burgess had invented I began to get really into it and before I knew it, it was 6.30 and I was beginning to get a little bit hungry.

I headed back to my flat but upon arrival I recieved an invite to join one of my friends in a bit of cake consumption- never one to pass up an opportunity for eating cake I sorted myself out and headed over to my mates flat. The 'cake' was interesting, to say the least, it came out of an 'add milk and stir' packet. The picture on the packaging looked lovely, the strange grey-blue colour had clearly been edited out of the picture. After a few hours of conversation and comic reading I finally left my friends flat and returned to my own, it was probably about 10 o'clock.

The next morning I woke up early (a very strange thing for me, my morning is about 1pm) at about 9.30, not wanting to get up I stayed in bed and ended up reading until about 2pm, I finished A Clockwork Orange and would recommend it to anyone who is not particularly squeamish and has a bit of patience to get their head around the lingo. Yesterday was a wholly unproductive day.

Today has been slightly more productive but revision is still not going well. I went to a revision tutorial for Philosophy today but that's about it. The lure of Nineteen Eighty-Four was too strong and so I have spent my afternoon reading, not exactly 'wasting' my time but not revising like I should be. Nevermind, maybe tomorrow I will be able to apply myself more...

K xxx

I think I should you let you know... you fancy an orange person.

So once again another day has gone past where I have been wholly ineffiecient about doing anything revision related but I have had a rather good day.

Let me begin with the morning 6.30 am(ish), this bit wasn't so good, I'm sure you'll understand I am not a morning person, nor am I a particularly deep sleeper. My mother thought it would be a fabulous idea at 6.30am to let my cat into my bedroom. My cat whilst being very cuddly and friendly doesn't like to be ignored. In my sleeping state I did not have the energy or the will to lift my arms and give her a scratch behind the ears. So then she did what she does best, she clawed the heck out of my face until I payed her some attention. Thus, the little black, one-eyed cat found herself sitting outside my door, being ignored.

I was then woken up several times after this by my dad stomping around the house doing DIY-ey things. Why my parents deem it sensible or a good idea to get up BEFORE midday on their days off I do not know. Anyway, at 9.30 my dad thought it would be a brilliant idea to come and tell me it was time to get up because he wanted to go to Banchory (a town/village thing close by) and that if I wanted a lift there I'd better get up because he was going soon. I did want a lift there, I wanted to get the bus into town and getting it from there was a hell of a lot cheaper (and easier) than walking two miles and paying £8 for a one way ticket into town. So after a little bit of arguing, half an hour later I dragged myself out of bed and got myself ready to go.

At 10.25 in Banchory I boarded the 201 bus service where I tried to pay for my £3.90 bus fare with a £20 note (it was all I had). At this point I was grumbled and grumped at and told my money wouldn't be accepted by the bus driver who appeared to be in an absolutely foul mood. He told me I'd have to wait, I thought this meant I'd have to get off the bus and wait for the next one, probably to be told the same thing. But before I could turn around to get off the bus the driver shut the door and slammed on the accelerator, still whinging about the situation. I think his words were "Honestly, pay for a 3.90 fare with a fucking £20 note, who the hell does she think she is?!" Obvioulsy this episode left me feeling rather uncomfortable, like most people, I dislike being shouted at, especially when I'm not really doing anything wrong. In my eyes attempting to pay for a bus fare with legal tender is perfectly acceptable, even if there is quite a lot of lose change involved. However at the end of the bus journey (which took FOR EVER, the traffic in town was jam packed) my good day really began, I had spent the hour or so on the bus to prepare myself to get grumpy right back at the bus driver if he refused to accept my £20 note to pay for my fare, but when I got up and asked him if I could sort out the fare issues he just waved me away and said "Well, I've shut down the machine now, it's too late, doesn't matter now does it?" Smiling I hopped off the bus without paying £3.90 for the stupid bus journey.

After the bus episode I went to my friends new flat, I've not been there yet and being the lovely girl she is she sent one of her friends to meet at the bus station. I have not seen the boy in question for something like 4 years, it was nice to have a catchup with him (even if he does mumble incomprehensibly, take the quietest mumbler you've ever met and then mulitply that mumbliness by ten and you've got Kev). So anyway we got to the flat and after an hour or so of catching up and laughing at the antics of my friends from the night before, Soph and I decided it was time for us to do our planned activity of the day. Go see 17 Again!

Now, I usually find these sorts of films really corny and stupid and well generally, quite crap. I'm also not really a fan of Zac Efron, his character in Highschool Musical scared me, his massive eyebrows and earnest smile were a little creepy in my opinion. Sophie, however, fancies Mr. Efron and after watching 17 Again I can kinda see why. His slightly more grown up character in 17 Again was rather lovely although I did expect him to break out in to song everytime a basketball or pretty woman appeared, I was almost disapointed when he didn't. But still, I enjoyed the film and would actually recommend it, although I did spend most of it with my hands over my face in the more cringeworthy bits. I was expecting a mega mega cheesefest and crap acting, instead I got a cheesefest with rather good acting so all was well :). And now, because I'm in a loving mood I shall reward you with a picture of Mr.Efron himself. (you could just google search it yourself(thats where I got it), but nevermind.)Anyway, so I shall skip out the boring bits now, I got home, with a little bit of drama in WHSmith when my mum had to tell Sophie her mum had been taken into hopsital because she was feeling sick and dizzy and everyone in the office had apparently agreed that she looked majorly ill and were worried about her. (Sophie's mum NEVER gets sick), with luck her mum will be just dandy. But mum and I got home at about 7 o'clock or something. Dad and I had planned to go on a bike ride, but once again (just like the past few days) we managed to persuade ourselves it was a bad idea, excuses like 'it'll be dark soon' and 'it's too late, dinner will be really late if we go out now' are great to avoid exercise...

Also to add to my good day which after reading this post doesn't sound that amazing but was rather fun, I got a phonecall from my friend today to tell me she'll pick me up at 8.45 (>_<) tomorrow morning to go horse riding, YAY! I get to ride my favourite horse (for free) one more time before I go back to Glasgow, yipeee! (I also get to spend the day with my friend, but you know, that's an added bonus ;-))

K xxx

Language Barrier

Having just spent probably a good half hour clicking the "next blog" button and being transported to somebody elses' world. I have come to the conclusion that I really don't know any other language than my own. Which is terrible. I have a Swedish mother, I can't even speak her native language.

I have enjoyed reading the few blogs that the little button has selected for me that are in a language that I can understand. It saddens me a little that it keeps picking blogs in Spanish and Danish in particular that I cannot read, they often have beautiful pictures and I stumbled across one French girls blog that had the most fantastic illustrations but I didn't have a clue what they were about. So I guess what I really want to know, is can anybody tell me how to set this thing so that the next blog that comes up on my screen is either translatable (without going into too much effort, I'm very lazy when it comes to that) or in English. If you're reading this and can help I'd love any advice you have to give.

Thank you :)

K xxx

Where the bad things can't get you

Why is it that whenever you want to talk to someone the person in question is never available?

Right now, in my case, I want to talk to a certain boy. He is not on msn and he is not on facebook. That leaves the option of the phone but, quite frankly when it comes to phones I don't actually like them very much.

I don't mind sending texts but the money mounts up, also in relation to this particular boy, my phone has a tendency to not recieve his texts which I'm sure you can imagine has led to upset and annoyance on more than one occasion. I don't like phoning people. My friends probably won't believe me, when on the phone it's difficult to get rid of me. However the act of picking up the phone, dialing a number and waiting for the person on the other end to pick up makes me very nervous. What if you phone them at exactly the wrong time? (I had a tendency to do this with one of my friends, I've phoned her several times whilst she was in bed with her boyfriend, of course I didn't know this until she informed me that she was 'busy'.) What if they don't actually want to speak to you? What if they have better people to be with and hang up on you? It's all so complicated. It's a bit stupid really, more often than not I love recieving phone calls so, it should follow that other people also enjoy being called by their friends, shouldn't it? Ach, I don't know.

This post isn't really about getting ahold of people and using telephones. It's actually a way for me to procrastinate. You see, I have exams in about a week and a halfs time, which I have to pass to get into my subjects for next year, and well I haven't started revising yet. I've come to the conclusion I have a fear of revising, now that may sound stupid but when I told my mum about it she said she used to feel the same way. I don't like revising because it only serves to remind me how much I don't know and how little I'll actually remember. I seem to pass exams through blind luck and an ability to write a lot of rubbish, as demonstrated here. However I get the feeling I'm going to need more than that to pass these exams, uni's a little bit different from school. I did a little bit of revision yesterday but, well that wasn't really revision, it was copying notes into a book and well, I don't remember any of what I wrote. I keep telling myself, at least you're only in your first year of university, it doesn't matter if you don't do well in your exams but, it does, it might not matter to other people that much but it matters to me. I don't try very hard when it comes to academic learning, I find it very difficult to apply myself and continue to pay attention but I do like getting good grades. Which is why I wish I was better at making myself do revision and why I often wish I could be like my cat (in the picture above) and curl up under my duvet and hide. Everyone knows if you curl up under your duvet and hide the bad things can't get you. And if the bad things can't get you, that means that revision doesn't exist. Revision is a bad thing...

K

Well

I shall introduce myself.

Unfortunately for me, my name is not Felix but is in fact Kirsty :(. Sorry if you happen to share my name but I hate it.

I'm 17 years old and I live in Scotland. I'm in my 6th year at school and I can't wait to leave and get out to college or uni. I love to ride horses, draw, write stories and most things actually, go swimming and just know, I like to do THINGS. But more than any of that I love to be with my wonderful friends. Where would I be without them? You may ask, but probably not... Well in short, my answer to that, is: Down a hole in my garden all alone. Nahah... were you expecting that answer? Quite possibly. This is not the point where I claim that I am kooky, or weird or a different thinker because I don't like to claim these things because more often than not people who do claim these things are usually talking out of their arse. I also like to leave an opinion of me up to you, I don't want to place an opinion in your mind before you even get a chance to think about it... if you catch my drift.

Anywhos. I'm about average height and average build I have short (very soon to be cut)blonde hair and greeny/bluey/greyey eyes that I don't like cause I can't decide what colour they are. I don't like wearing foundation, my skin suffers enough as it is without adding MORE chemicals to it. However I am quite fond of my eyeliner and mascara. See look there, now you know a bit what I look like :O.

Well I really just wanted to have a blog that I could rant and rave on when I get really angry about something and want everyone to know about it. Feel free to pop in and read and if what I write bores the hell out of you- then why bother reading it? No doubt I'll probably only ever post about two blogs on this before I totally forget about it. But who knows- I could surprise myself.

Well good day to all that don't read this and do if you're a bit weird and bored.

Bye bye

K xxx